There is nothing wrong with the way we turn doorknobs. You walk up to the door, stand at the appropriate distance put out your hand (right or left, according to preference) and turn. It’s as easy as falling off a log.
I am not aware of any research into falling off logs, although a group of scientists is probably working on just such a project right now. But that other thing – turning the doorknob – has been subject to scientific study. By researchers in Japan. Their conclusion: the larger the knob, the more fingers you will need in order to open it. For one wider than one centimetre, you need at least three fingers. Good to know.
Just as it is good to know that Spiderman does not exist, as researchers at Cambridge University discovered. The reason: to be able to climb walls, we would need large sticky feet and a shoe size of 145. Research is still proceeding, doubtless, on the Batman and Superman question.
Our quest for knowledge is unending and overfunded, from all accounts. Imagine that such research is being funded, peer-reviewed, published, and possibly winning awards in some corner of the earth (which, doubtless, another research team has proved is not made of cheese).
A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association has proved conclusively that it is useful to have a fan in summer because it can make you feel “cooler.”
Albert Einstein has provided researchers with this defence: If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. I am not sure who said this, but it’s not Dorothy Parker.
Where would we be without the knowledge that dog fleas jump higher than cat fleas? This from the National Veterinary School of Toulouse, which concluded that the average height of a dog flea jump was 15.5 centimetres while the less athletic cat flea could manage only 13.2. Now I know why I am a dog person, unlike my wife, who is a cat person.
Talking of knowledge, how is this: the Sintef Unimed in Norway and the Technical University of Denmark published a study proving that wearing wet underwear in the cold was not a good idea. In case you thought that doesn’t sound scientific enough, here’s the title of the study: The Impact of Wet Underwear on Thermoregulatory Responses and Thermal Comfort in the Cold.
So, back to the doorknob. There are people (I am told) who will try to turn it with two fingers, or after a party to celebrate their hockey team’s victory, one finger even. Then there are those who will ignore their fingers and use the palm of their hands for the same purpose.
Isn’t it important that we pass on this and similar knowledge, especially about thermoregulatory responses, to our children in the hope that they will find the funding for similar projects?
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